Thursday, July 15, 2004


Left to Right: Rawiya, Noura, Taffy, Emma & Aysel Posted by Hello

Sweet Revealations

what makes people feel grand? i know what makes me feel it. i've felt it so much, so many times. but i havent had enough of it yet. Last night i was told something that almost feel i cant feel better...

Last night Shadaab, the new guy working at the hotel, revealed to me what i badly needed to hear and know. it was something that i got to know too late, way too late, but nevertheless, i needed to hear it. its what makes my world go around. its what gives me the confidence that thrusts me into a feeling of ecstasy. then i do and act in ways that makes most people think i am arrogant. i think they're wrong. cuz i know they want to be what i am and to feel what i feel at that very moment. how can i say such a thing like that? well how would you feel if a guy you're close to, would confide in you other peoples' thoughts about you. he tells you everything what others say and think about you. in other words, you get to know what you are like in the minds of the people that matter to you, and to those who dont matter to you. well...thats exactly what happened with me last night...

Shadaab was my roommate back when i was still studying in Leysin. that was about 3 months ago. now, he's an employee like me, in the same hotel that i work in. its good to have him here. he's a nice guy. he will be here working for the next two months, and then he will be going back to Leysin. i have always though of him as having to do something with the ruining of my relationship with Aysel. in fact i thought of him of being an accomplice to Ajit, who i thought was responsible for commenting that i am bisexual. but last night i found out he was the only one who made Aysel against me...thats as far as he knows. it was all meant to be a joke. nothing but a joke. although i do wonder how can a joke go so far without one sensing the sensitivity of the 'jokes'.

Aysel and Shadaab both worked at The Cave. thats where it all happened. Aysel told Shadaab all that she knew about the people, especially about Sam Gonzalez. and Shadaab told her everything he supposedly knew. thats where he threw his lying comments about me at her. not all were lies though; he told her i said she's a good kisser, that she has a nice ass and nice tits. if she would ask me the same questions, i would have told her the same what i told Shadaab. i am not that scared of the truth. she didnt like it that much though when Shadaab told her what i though of her in that sense. she just commented that all guys are the same. then she told him something about me...

if i had known this while i was still in leysin, i dont think anything would have stopped me from going after them...or after Noura to be precise. Noura is half Palestinian and half German. and so is her older sister, Rawiya. whats better is that they both came from Dubai, the closest girls i have met from saudi yet. i had an unimaginable crush on Noura. i looked and stared at her like i was staring at an awe-inspiring beauty. to me, she was a walking angel in flesh...and she had the flesh that i wanted to caress so badly. Noura aroused my lust and my sexuality.

Noura liked me, alot as i heard. that very fact almost killed me last night when i heard it. the painless pain that went spearing down my body was a feeling of frustration and some anger, to have missed something when i could have got it. She liked me more than Aysel did, or so did Aysel say to Shadaab. oh Lord...please take away my pain, my hurt. please keep my devilish hands away from my face. I took so much time of the talks that Aysel and Noura had. i already knew that Taffy liked me a lot and that she wanted us to have something. but what i was never sure of was whether Rawiya liked me too or not. i found out last night that she did. and i saw that the night we danced together at a party in my room, that last crazy party, the way she slithered her finger down my chest and abs and smiled naughtily. a little alcohol gave her that confidence. the two sisters liked me a lot. they all did. they all talked about me. but it was Aysel who got me. i wish i knew how that impacted on her relationship with the others. it sure ruined her reputation with among the Engelberg crew; they thought of her as a slut after that. and in turn, she though i am the one who told them all that, thanks to Shadaab's genius way of describing things.

i am not being too proud of myself, not at all. but i am happy and so happy to know what i am to girls. i am more than happy to know that i am blessed with something many and many more people arent blessed with...and thats the power of Charisma and Personality. it is the feeling that i have what it takes, i know the works, that my skills do bring results that excites and thrills me. i have always wanted to be this, now i AM.

as for Noura, i almost had her, and now i know how she felt about me. i would do anything to go back in time. she is someone i dont find so often. i've met two girls like that ever in my life. what will happen now...? i dont know. i am thinking of going to Germany with Sam to meet them. this time...i know what i've always wanted to know about Noura's feelings, about what she hides in her delicate heart beats. will she know about my feelings for her by then? i dont know. a little alcohol will help...

its such a sweet sensation. not much can make one feel like this. i feel Grand.

Monday, July 12, 2004

The Kings Speaks...

Seraina just left upstairs right now. she'd been here almost for the past hour. she told her friend, Tamara, that she'll follow in 5 minutes. we sat talking and talking about things such as Bobby, Denis and how Denis knew about Bobby and Seraina, and how Bobby wanted to beat the crap outta Denis, how she flirted with one Contiki guy, Alex, & Bobby didnt like that. so Serainas' pissed cuz she just broke up with a jealous boyfriend and now she got another even worse guy who she dont even belong to, buggin her about why she talks to guys. well anyways, in the end our talk got to be a little more emotional, i guess her feelings got frustrated and she wanted what she stayed behind for, what she left her friend waiting up in the room for, what she liked, loved, lusted and longed for, she wanted what she badly wanted! any guy with an experience would have seen her skinned longed for a manly touch, that her mouth watered for a kiss. i took a direct aim at those very feelings and made her feel that i'm gonna kiss her anytime soon...and i left her lingering and hanging until i told her that i will take her to the elevator so she can go up and sleep. she hesitated but stood up slowly. all this was happening right in the reception. so we walked up to the elevator and i pressed the button and the door slid open. she stood there for a few moments and we looked into each other's eyes for a while. i read her inside out...i saw that she waited for me to kiss her. but i guess she was too proud to make the first move. then she walked into the elevator. she leaned against the side and waited. unfortunately for her, the door automatically closed while i was waving goodbye in a cute way and smiling. after the elevator started upward i turned around, and with sounds of triumph in my head, i swung around and held my head high with pride, to the music of The Vibes also in my head, declaring clear victory for myself...she wants me still. & now to play with her even more, i just smsed her and told her how pretty she looked and that i would have liked her to stay here more with me if it werent for her tiredness.

next move: make her know of my should-be make out or kiss with Stephanie. more than that, i wanna kiss her friend, Tamara, who is here till tuesday. and maybe even make out with her. so far, things are going better than planned. Seraina, im in it for the kill!

Sunday, July 11, 2004

The Medici King

in my last post, i was burning with jealousy. trapped like a raging tiger in a cage that i made for myself. i was the one who started the whole affair by making the rules: no strings attached. and that rule back-fired on me when Seraina took another guy...in addition to me. i got so burned. but hey...no strings attached, right? so here i was, stuck in my own trap. i couldnt do anything. or worse...i found out that night when she came in late and left abruptly, she actually wanted to hurry up and get extra clothes cuz Bobby was waiting for her in the park to take the funicular up to Hotel Terrace, the place where he lived and worked. yeah thats right, she slept with him and the next day she told me about it and she also had to tell me some details. imagine what i had to emotionally go thru. later that day, after i had sometime to think about it, how to get my revenge on her, and cursing myself for making such a rule, i devised a plan to turn her into a slut without her knowing it. oooooh i'm so evil, that i sometimes scare myself. or impress myself...Anyways, this is how she would have turned into slut: from what she told me, Bobby seems to be using her, and pretty badly too. plus he has a girlfriend. and i want to get back with Alexandra and she is willing to get back with me, so virtually i have a girlfriend too. so...i want to USE Seraina for my sole pleasure...with no strings attached. as for Seraina, the only guy who was there who cared for her more (apart from me) was her boyfriend, with whom she recently broke up with. who was there to support her break up? I am the Devil's Advocate.

so later on the same day...i kissed her suddenly. i explained to her that i liked her more and i couldnt stop myself from being attracted to her(believe me, girls LOVE compliments and flattering). and she fell for it. besides, she was going to have two guys at once. & hey, i didnt mind making out with her as long as i got what i wanted from her. well almost what i wanted. it was like a dream for her; having a superb summer job that gives her a chance to party every night, a guy she can sleep with anytime she wants, and having another guy (me)who supposedly doesnt mind her having someone else cuz its a no strings attached relationship. what more could she want!....& thats when all her dream got flushed down the toilet.

the whole scenario came unfolder way better than i actually planned (i love these kinda scenarios!). you see, i told Barbara to invite Stephanie, a girl who used to work at the hotel's bar before she left for good, to come over next week's saturday so me and her could party, get drunk and make out right infront of Seraina...hey! no strings attached, man! so what happened...? well Stephanie was already on her way here to me the next day!!! imagine the happiness on my face and the diabolical grin in the depths of my soul. oh wait..did i say diabolical? i'll tell you whats really diabolical now.

the next day, the day Stephanie was supposed to be arriving here, with her boyfriend...Alexandra smsed and asked if i would like her to come over and spend the night with me. i didnt mind. infact, i missed her a lot and i really wanna be close to her. so i said 'Yeah, come over!'. she came over and we just kissed. while we did that, she accidentally gave me a crystal clear Hickey. she didnt mean to, but it happened. and after u went downstairs Seraina saw it. but what i saw, was something i never expected to her on her face...a good-try-but-not-good-enough try to hide the jealousy. a deep and vengeful jealousy too. so vengeful that she went to an extent to get back at me. i'll tell you later. anyways, i liked what i saw, and i loved that moment. i dont know how much i should thank Alexandra for that. but ofcourse i cant thank her and you know why :S i'd be kicked, punched, skinned alive and burned at the stake...

Seraina wasnt normal with me for the rest of the night. she didnt even say her nice, normal, sleek good-bye to me before she left to Eden Bar. hell with that! i didnt care! all i cared about was that she got jealous! that means now she got a taste for her own medicine...and that she aint the only one who can have two partners. so by 2am Madelaine comes in the hotel to the reception tipsy and asks if i can prepare her something to eat. we go to the bar and moments later i see Seraina coming in with a guy named Denis next to her. i clearly saw that she had some to drink. well i knew what was gonna happen in her room tonight. Denis wanted to take her to her room when i suddenly said that he can only go up there if he accepts that his name goes on the list, a security procedure. Seraina was looking at me. i dont know was that a look of anger or was she thinking i was doing this out of jealosuy. but i think what happened next came to her as a shock. Denis accepted what i asked and i said, 'ok now you can go'. He sighed a relief and Madeliane was telling me how a good guy Denis was. But Seraine just stared at me quietly and that look was a look that said,'shit, now i know really he doesnt care if i have another guy, he doesnt like me that way i like him'. guys, there's no mistake about that look. anyone could have read that look easily and knew what it meant. so anyways, the guy shakes my hand and leaves. Seraina was already out of the bar and standing next to the elevator. was she trying to run away or hide her hurt and tears? i dont know and i dont care.

now that me and Madelaine were alone again, she stared at me and asked me if there's something going on between me and Seraina. i denied (i lied). she asked me to be honest. i told her that i did kiss her once, cuz i wanted to, but that i dont know if she wanted to. then Madelaine asked me if i was hurt moments ago cuz of Seraina and Denis. i denied again and told her i only did what my duty asked for in situations like this. that ofcouse, was a big fat lie. then my moment of sheer victory and un-imaginable pride that shook my whole world came out of Madelaine's mouth.

Madeliane: do you know why Serainas' doing this?
Asad : what are you talking about?
Madeliane: the thing with Denis.
Asad : no, i dont know.ยจ
Madelaine: its becuz she likes you a lot and when she saw you getting back with Alexandra, she got hurt and now she's trying to get back at you.

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what madelaine just told me, almost made me cry with happiness and pride. that Serainas' doing this just to hurt me. well, her plan back-fired cuz it seriously gave me the upper hand and made me feel so powerful. definitely not hurt at all. not only did i turn her into a slut by un-intentionally involving Denis (in addition to me & poor Bobby), but i made her desperate to get back at me by making futile attempts to hurt me. HAHAHA! the Medici just got Crowned...

but thats not all...madelaine kept telline me how she looked sad at the club cuz she thinks i got back together with Alexandra. and that she wants me to dedicate my time 100% with her and the way she sees it now, i'm Alex 50% of the time, something she didnt like. but hey! no strings attached, girl, did you forget that?! you were the one who took advantage of that rule!! anyways moving on...madelaine tried to tell Seraina that thats normal of me of spending sometime with Alex to give her support during turbulent times. and supposedly Seraina just stared a blank stare. quiet. & then she decided to get another guy to her bed just to get me jealous. Bobby was there this time cuz he was attending to something more important than Seraina....his real girlfriend.

little does Seraina know that her hurt and shattered world is about to be bombed again with another of my nuclear arsenals, thus completely annihalate her world. Stephanie is in town...and i will waste no effort to get my hands running over her dark-skinned french body. & Seraina will no doubt hear about it.i will make sure of it.

thus, this is the story of Seraina, a girl who just recently broke up with her boyfriend (who promised her he'll make out with other girls now), slept with Bobby who prefers to stay with girlfriend, just made-out with me, who prefers to be with Alexandra, and now slept with Denis in a futile attempt to get back at me. now she is a girl who is just being bounced around between 3 guys, none who'd rather take her for a committed relationship, failed at avenging her hurt that i caused & turned into a slut without knowing it. i am not hurt, in fact i'm full of pride. i walk with my head held high, and will devour my reward tomorrow. Stephanie will prove to be a good female sensation. sometimes i think i should make Cruel Intentions 3. or simply...sometimes i just scare myself for being so purely evil.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Jealousy Is Like Having A Bad Rush

Her name is Seraina. i met her in hotel europe. she came here the same day as i and she started working on the same day as i. only thing is that she came actually for 2 weeks as part of her school thing of getting experience in the field you wanna work in the future. 2 nights after i got to know her, i kissed her on the morning of the third day. wow! and then i gave her the rules of the game. actually i kinda gave it to her while we were talking getting to know each other. we were talking about relationships and stuff. my rules were that we'd have a no-strings-attached thing. a fling. you get what you want from me and i get what i want from you. so anyways, she decided to stay and ask the hotel manager if she could get a summer job and work for a month here. i hoping for her to get the job but at the same time for her to not get it. later, i would realise i wish the latter would have happened.

so she got the job and our affair continued. we slept together without sex. we made out, kissed passionately, caressed each other, and i fingered her a lot. and you know what? she loved it, she loved it dearly. man she can move. later on she told me that she was actually a mixed race, even though looking white, bluish gray eyes and a blonde or fair hair. she had mostly brazilian blood and some portugese and some others.

so when my girlfriend came to visit, me and seraina would avoid too much contact to not make it obvious. and it worked. some people asked if me and seraina are together, but i always did what the US government is best at doing; denying it all. i just told them i liked her and wished i could have her. she would spend the whole night sitting next to me if she didnt have the early shift the next day. and we would make out when i finished with all the major work that had to be done. all went fine and the worst started to happen....feelings started to grow. she started to like me more first and then me liking her slowly. shit man!

so anyways, one day she started crying in my room and when i asked her whats the reason, she told me she was getting attached to me. man that got to me. but we still agreed to keep it the rules as they were. we both kept getting what we needed.

in the midst of all this, i broke up and got back together and then broke up again with my girlfriend.

i was expecting this to happen. and it happened. it was sometime around after 2.15am that she came back to the hotel where we both stayed and worked. i was in the bar with my laptop and she went upstairs not knowing where i was. she got to my door and knocked. when she didnt get a reply she called me up and i told her that i was down in the bar, which was closed ofcourse. she came in and i saw it that she looked drunk. but she was not too drunk to know whats going on. then there she told me that she kissed a guy. then she said actually he kissed her. the knew the guy and i got the feeling a long time ago that he didnt like me. she told me that he was the one to kiss but she also kissed back. she started smiling and whining at the same time about why she kissed him. i was, no doubt, hurt to know that but i remembered the rules of the game. but then i remembered one night when i joked and asked her what if i make out with one of the guest girls. she chuckled back and said she wouldnt mind but that i wasnt mean to her to do such a thing. i took it that she would be hurt if i did something with someone else. so now the i had something to say and i said just that. she had nothing to say except that she thought i was joking back then when i asked her that question. while all this, i still kept my cool so good and acted as if what she did, didnt affect me at all. we went up to bed and she slept just the way she sleeps; topless and i slept the way i always sleep with girl; either topless or with something on my lower half. she wanted me to hug her and all while she sleeps and i did that for her...but only for a little while before i went to my mattress that was on the floor next to my bed...on which she was on. the next day we went to lucerne together and we shopped together and right before we walked towards the train i broke the news to her.

i told her that i didnt feel right going on with her the way i was the whole time. i told her the reason why. i told her that i didnt like it that she kissed another guy other than me. i also told her that its ok what she did, cuz the rules were no strings attached. i told her she can go on doing what she wants to...but no longer with me. i can see that what i told her, hurted her but i guess she didnt wanna show it that much. after we got to the hotel we met up after dinner to have our clothes washed...and i saw that we slightly couldnt act right with each other. but after we started the washing machine, we went to my room and started to lsn to her CD. we talked ok i guess and moments later she had to go down and start work in Service. meanwhile, alex called me whule seraina was in my room and told me that she is coming.

so alex came and i was alone before that. we talked about what to do. she actually came to say goodbye properly cuz we supposedly broke up for good. we ended up talking and talking and then an hour or so later, we got back together. after Alex left, i went to my room, turned on some Ashanti music and lit a Vanilla candle and switched off all the lights and closed my eyes to rest. when i opened them, i saw seraina in my room and she was looking down on me. she smiled and said she's going to the club. then i had a vision of 'Bobby', the guy she kissed. then immediately my phone rang and it was Alex. i answerd the phone and started talking to Alex. Seraina quietly took her CD and walked to the door and whispered that she's taking the CD and i nodded. seconds after talking to Alex and hanging up the phone, i thought back at what happened. all that happened so fast that i wasnt sure if Seraina was more eager to leave to meet him, or to not let Madelain waiting...or maybe she thought i will take long talking to Alex.

well out of jealousy and suspicion, here i am sitting again at the bar, its still 1.30am. i want to see if she comes with the guy or not, does she take him up to her room or not, now that she doesnt have me no more. earlier she said that he wanted to come up to her room but she told him not to. and also, she told me that she is not the type of the girl who'd go for any guy. then what happened last night? well she was drank too much. i think its believable. well, but i wonder whats gonna happen tonight. will she drink again? does she realise if she wants me more or old Bob? is she thinking if getting me back or settling for Bob? is she thinking that i'm gone now and might as well get drunk again and make out with Bob? or go over to his place and sleep there? i dont know. i'm sitting here and i just hope to see her when she comes in...and then i'm interested to see what happenes.

oh shit...ok she just came in and talked to me and left quickly. she wasnt drunk or anything, i could see that and she said it too. but why did she leave so fast? hmm...was it some sort of a diversion so that bobby could run up the stairs from behind her? man am i too suspicious or in secure or what? i dont know. but whatever it is, i just hate it. i hate it man. i hate it so much. i wish i never got into this in the first place. well time to set the wheels in motion. i better go now.

Monday, July 05, 2004


Hally's Favorite Place To Dine Posted by Hello

Hally Babes Posted by Hello

Grand Majestic Party: Shadaab, Sian & Andy Posted by Hello

Andy Singing To Enrique's Song At The Grand Majestic Party Posted by Hello

The Break Up

last night i cried like i never cried for a girl. why? i didnt think i was gonna cry when me and Alexandra would break up. in fact, i didnt sleep the whole night. cant believe that's how much it affected me. strange thing is that i started to watch porn on TV after the break up phone call ended. but then again, it was only to get my mind off what i just went thru.

then lightening struck...Well not really. what i meant was that a sudden change erupted inside of me. i suddenly felt that i needed her and that i want her. without her i felt all alone. and then i started asking myself what i want. i dont know. but something tells me that i love Alexandra. and so i smsed her from the internet at about 5 in the morning asking if its still not too late to ask her back. Maybe its the sex. maybe. i dont know. i do need sex. and she gives it so good to me. anyways, she just smsed me and asked me to clear my mind and know what i want. i dont know. i think i'll go for her again. i hope things work out better now than before.

Party In My Room At Leysin Posted by Hello

Chillin' Wid Da Chics Posted by Hello

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Faithful

i have never had a girlfriend to whom i was faithful. it is something that i cannot be. dont ask me why. i want to be with only one girl for a long time, but the urge to have another different one is greater and stronger. my first girlfriend was an American but originally Syrian. i cheated on her with a Saudi who had Indonesian blood. After sometime i cheated on her once again with a hot Saudi chic who claimed to have some Russian blood. then while playing truth or dare i kind of made out with two girls at the same time, one was American who was also half German and the other was a hot African American. then after i came to switzerland, i started flirting with a Swiss who was originally half German and half Yugoslavian. when i went back to saudi arabia i met up with the same hot Saudi chic & made out in a secluded corner of Starbucks. after i came back to switzerland, i got together with the Swiss girl and remained faithful untill things got really sour between us. then i came back to saudi for vacations and to refresh myself i met up again with the same Saudi chic and this time had even more nastier encounters. having refilled my energy i gave a chance to getting back with the same Swiss girl after flying back to switzerland. we stayed together for a long time this time until we broke up again and i met up with another Swiss who was originally Turkish. After her i met with another Swiss who this time was a real swiss but had an interesting blood line from Brazil, Portugal and maybe from some other place as well.

this is how twisted my story is so far. looking back at how i changed and what i did, makes me feel that i'm getting out of control. not being with only one girl and having the urge to try as many as i can is something that scares me. i keep telling myself to quit having girls as one of my main focuses in life. it works for sometime but when a girl gives me the slightest hint of lust, i fall for it.

but i do feel attached to one girl though; the Swiss who is half German and half Yugoslavian. i feel more wanting to be close to her than any of the others than i had. she did things that made her reach deep inside my heart. i have always tried my best to shield my feelings of attachment ever since i broke up with my first girlfriend to avoid being hurt again.

i'm tired and i feel too sleepy to type this out...

Tale of Betrayal & Pride

the day i went back to leysin, i went back after a long time. the last time i was there was almost 5 weeks ago. that makes up almost a whole semester. i went to the Cave of ACS, and saw Aysel working at the bar, along with Marilu, Shadaab and Taffy. that was the first time i saw her after 5 weeks. my nerves started to get excited at the sight of the girl i made out with only a few hours after i got to know her. we'd smile everytime we met again in the hallways or the dining hall. we'd chat a bit if one of us greeted each other. only this time was different. my greetings to them gave me no reaction from them. well, at least not the type that i was expecting. Taffy and Aysel just didnt say much back, as if we met just the other day casually. infact they even turned their faces away. no doubt i was dumb struck. i just walked away and chilled with my other friends. later that night shadaab started to tell me not to talk to her and all. he told me he was advising me. i didnt buy it. he gave a 1000 'reasons' to talk to her again. a 1000 reasons that didnt make a fucking logical sense why i should stop talking to her altogether. if i knew the real reason back then, i would have given shadaab a night he wouldnt forget. destroying your enemey emotionally hurts more than if you hurt him physically.

Marilu, the girl who was the closest to Aysel from all of us, didnt tell me anything. obviously she didnt care or she doesnt know how to help someone fix a problem. to hell with people like her, whatever they're trying to be. she only told me that she'll tell me all that she can when she comes to Engelberg. why? cuz she doesnt want me to react in a confused and angry way. Bullshit. eventually though, the day she came to Engelberg, i asked to tell me what i had to wait for till she comes to Engelberg. what she did tell me shocked me. without giving me names, she said that my 'friends' lied to Aysel by telling her stuff that wasnt true. stuff that i supposedly said about her. that she's a slut, a bitch. that i used her. that i talked behind her back. she cried. and she cried even more when they told her im supposedly a bisexual. how pathetically disgusting can one get? she was hurt enough to ignore me completely, only three days after we smsed normally. i suspect it was shadaab and ajit. i smsed Aysel 3 times to make her talk to me again so i can clear my name. but she wouldnt reply. i am not desperate to talk to her again, she aint the type i cannot live without. at least for my part, i tried to do something to prove myself innocent and to save a friendship.

Aysel is turkish originally, but since she lived all her life here, she is a swiss citizen. the first time i got to know her was on a thursday nights' party. we all had to dress up as bad, naughty and sexy highschool people. on that night i got very drunk. on that night i first started to kiss and makeout with Aysel at Club 94. she initiated. she introduced me to Caramel Vodka, the only alcohol that i'd gladly keep taking shots of. that same night Taffy cried her eyes out supposedly after she saw us making out. some people told me that Taffy wanted me. well, tough, Taffy (i wouldnt have said it this way if you were nice to me when i greeted you). the next day news spread almost as wild fire with some people; as aspect that i as a guy, loved and craved. a week later, at an end-of-semester party, i organised a huge monstrous in my room as usual. on that night again, me and Aysel almost fused into one. but i had dared not take off my pants, i dont do that with girls i dont know very well. AIDS. that should say enough. it was a night to remember, though. the party was majestic. my room, was big, with dim lights, boosted with a super high bass philips sounds system, a table full of different kinds of hard liqor and invitations to some of the hottest girls in college. i am more than happy to have hosted an awesome and successful party those people ever had. but nothing really could have let me know about the seeds of jealousy and envy that was growing in some of my friends hearts. some wanted to stay the way they were to me, & now i know some wanted to BE ME. call me a guy full of pride or whatever, i am not ashamed to say that i was & i knew what i was to most of my friends there. i stood out most out of the engelberg students who transfered to leysin, i headed almost all of the entertainment they had there, i had the right connections, i knew the right people, i was arrogantly self-confident and i made the best parties with the best music rocking in town. i saw myself Grand & Supreme. i had it all. & i made sure that no one can copy me, although i wanted everyone of the engelberg students to be unique at ACS. i held on to my crown and to my throne.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

My Secret Life

oh man what happened to me? its been almost 2 years now since i've been in switzerland. & all this time no one could ever persuade me to even have a sip of alcohol or smoke a cigarette. i used to be a a bit shy when it came to approaching my crushes. i wouldn't even dance with a girl.

But all that changed gradually. some of the changes came recently, & very abruptly. for the first time in my life i started to not only drink, but get trashed every time i drank, & that happened almost every week. smoking is one thing i haven't tried yet and i dont think i ever will. i remember one time i was so drunk, & one of my friends who was drunk as well, took a puff and passed it on to me. it was his first time. but even in my tipsy state, i said "No". kinda makes you proud, huh? i just hit 21 and it was the first time in life i started drinking. i loved being tipsy so much i started 'persuading' people to party whenever we could. everyone thought i was going insane and addicted to alcohol. but i told them it wasnt true and that i drank only when we partied and i drank only to get tipsy. they didnt buy it. nope. not until i proved it to them. it took a little trust too. i flew back home for a 5 week vacation and after i came back i told them i didnt have a sip of alcohol ever since the last crazy party of April 29th. at first they didnt believe me, but i kept on insisting. Good thing i have a good history of being honest and straight forward.

girls are now not an option (no offense to the females out there). i'm so confident, i dont know how. i can take almost any girl i want. plus...i cant even believe i just said that without the feeling of lying to myself. the concept of a 2 week relationship is just so great. no strings attached, 'show me yours, & i show you mine'. i still cant understand how guys my age can have a long term relationship. i just think its too early till you're 25 if you're a guy. or maybe a bit older even?

alas...here's my point. Would i have been able to do all this if i was in saudi? probably yes...but it would have been harder and taken a lot of effort. forget about the conservative saudi system, the fear lies within the name and honor of your family. if you're caught doing all that stuff, man you got some real serious shit in your hands. and its even worse if you're a girl.

Tradition is still something many people follow in saudi, but less adhered to from where i come from, Jeddah. its the most laid-back and open-minded metropolitan city in Saudi Arabia, but still strict for anyone who isnt adaptive to new environments.

the free environment that Switzerland gave me, didnt change me. it just brought out the real person within me.

Hotel Europe, 03:55am

ok so i've created my first blog. quiet frankly i dont even know what to do with it now.but hey...i'm looking forward to the days (or nights) ahead when i start putting down more and more of the crazy stuff that i go thru. so far, this is the start of my 3rd week in internship. i like the work; staying up all night, doing things on my own time, and not having to talk or or take orders from anyone. the only bad part about it is the sleep that starts to swallow you by 3am. & oh yeah, lets not forget that my ignorance in the german language only makes things worse. here i am, working at the reception of a 3 star swiss hotel, as a night auditor...and everytime a german speaking guest comes, i have to ask him if he can speak english...in his God damn german speaking country. i'm telling you, they dont like it.& especially when they're drunk. hmm...let's see, i got 5 months and 2 weeks left to go. Jesus, i really wanna see how i get out of this.

as i look around me, the reception looks totally deserted without a soul in sight. the only sound is the sound of me typing. i've heard ghost stories about this place. this place is over a 100 years old now. i've always wondered how many people have walked these halls, what did they do here, what they talked...right here in this very reception. creepy thoughts creep into your head and if you aint in control of your imaginations, then, babe, this place aint for you. lucky for me, i've been studying in this very building for almost two years now, back when the school was still here. I already know the stories and i know the logical explanations behind them. but what i cant seem to logically explain is the ghostly pale face thats staring at me from behind YOU!! Aaaaah!! scared ya, heh. i dont believe in ghosts honestly. As a good, open-minded and moderate Muslim (not fundamentalist, i said MODERATE), i believe in the existence of God (we call him by His name, Allah), i believe in Angels and finally the third invisible beings...the Jinn. yes, its what most people in the world know them by the name of 'Genie'. its actually an arabic word (NOT name) which translates into english as devils or deamons. hey why am i talking about this anyway...

CNN, CNN, CNN, CNN, Iraq, Iraq, Iraq, blah, blah, blah, blah...ah i cant stand this anymore. kinda makes u feel there aint much in the world other than America, Iraq, Iran, North Korea and let us not forget...Israel and Palestine. i'll admit it to you all. i am a supporter of the Palestinian cause (hey wait! drop your guns, dont shoot me yet!!). by declaring who's side i'm on dont mean i'm against Israel. heck, i got jewish friends. what im trying to say, i support the idea of creating a Palestinian state next to Israel. dont ask me why, cuz i'm way to tired to start blabbin about all that again. man cant we just be friends?

here i am sitting like an idiot, done with all my work for tonight and got nothing better to do than to steal a glass of Lemonade, a cup of coffee, Toblerone choclates, slices of excellent cheese, toast breads, hot choclate, crossiants (did i spell that right?) and thereby putting the hotel's profits into the minus. but hey, who cares, i dont have lunch most of the times anyways, so i think doing all that i do illegally is in fact a 'compensation' as i call it. the food sucks ass sometimes, i'm telling you. As a Muslim, i am not entitled to eat pork. in fact, i dont like pork anyway. For God's sake, look at how the filthy animal lives and what it eats! Good God, people! how can you still go on having pork, pork, pork?! i'm sorry but this is something i dont agree with. to all pork eaters & pork lovers: research on the many pork-related diseases that people tend to ignore. Sure beef has its BSE and chicken has its...its...was it bird flu? i dont know. but hey...beef & chicken diseases are not as common as pork-related diseases.

well here's my first blog. wow. i didnt even expect to write that much. if any of you 6 billion people read what i put up here, i want you to know that its all my opinion, my point of views...its the way see things. in no way am i trying to spread and/or impose anything on my fellow humanoids. but feel free to say anything about it. again...my dear Humanoid, you beautiful creature of God or nature or what ever you believe in...these are just words and nothing more. dont take me too seriously.